EARLY REVIEW: Finding Kyle

Finding Kyle, by Sawyer Bennett
Publish Date: January 16, 2017
Publisher: self-published
Format: ARC, provided by the author
Genre: adult contemporary romance
To Buy: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Rating: 5 STARS

(Synopsis) When you’ve lived your life as a criminal… When you’ve done unspeakable things … When your soul has become dark and stained… The path to redemption begins where you least expect it.

Kyle Sommerville is in hiding and doesn’t want to be found by anyone. Certainly not by his quirky, free-spirited neighbor who’s managed to push her way past the walls he’s built around him. But Jane Cresson’s indomitable will and insatiable curiosity about her reclusive neighbor makes it impossible for Kyle to stay immersed in his dark world.

Little by little, she claws through his shell. Day by day, she gets him to smile a little more. Night by night, they both find pleasure they never knew existed.

When Kyle’s terrible past is exposed, Jane begins to think she’s in over her head. Can her love for this broken man finally clear his path to redemption, or will Kyle’s darkness finally extinguish every bit of hope she’s put into him?

I swear, I never thought I'd hear from Kyle again. We caught glimpses of him in two other Sawyer Bennett series (Last Call and Wicked Horse), but when Bridger pretty much put the nail in Kyle's coffin at the end of Wicked Bond (Wicked Horse #5), I seriously thought that was it. I am SO happy to be wrong. 

If you've read Wicked Bond, then you know what an uphill battle Kyle has to climb. He's been undercover for the past three years, with the sole mission of taking down the Mayhem's Mission motorcycle club. As an undercover agent, he's had to blend in with the club members. Which means he had to do unspeakable things that went against his principles and his moral fiber. Doing things like that can permanently stain a person's soul. And, without a doubt, Kyle is feeling that stain. 

I look at Jane Cresson and realize I've been missing out on the reality of life. I've been completely without the little things that make life worth living. Good friends and family, a sense of belonging, and a joy-filled life. My life so far has been nothing but subsistence, and not a very fulfilling one at that. 

So, while hiding out in the middle of small town, Maine, and waiting for the final trial that will put an end to this dark time in his life, Kyle meets Jane, a local artist and school teacher. And even though he's drawn to her light and her goodness, he absolutely does not want his stain to spread to her. 

I have never wanted to befriend a character more than Kyle Sommerville. This poor man needs a real friend in the worst way. He needs someone to tell him that what he did in those moments of his life did not define him. That he's still lovable. That he can still love others the right way. In fact, he may be even better equipped to love others now that he's seen all the wrong ways it can be done. Kyle needs pure, unconditional, no-strings attached love and tenderness. And truly, Jane Cresson is the perfect person to give it to him. 

I LOVED Jane. She was introverted and quiet and sweet. But, she also knows when someone needs her. And she was able to see through Kyle's extremely hot exterior (although, that admittedly was hard. Because, holy hot bad boy...) and his angry, aloof disposition to the hurting man underneath. And so, she dogged him in the best ways. This girl was absolutely relentless, offering him meals and help with his projects and doing nice things for him. She made it impossible for Kyle to keep turning her away. 

But, Kyle is so damaged by his time with the MC, he's afraid he can't be a normal man anymore. That he wouldn't have been able to do those things with the club if he didn't have a little bit of darkness in him anyway. And now that he's killed people, beaten people, screwed countless whores, done drugs and committed countless other crimes, Kyle's afraid that no amount of love and acceptance will bring him back from that. 

I can't blame him. I can't imagine how messed up his head is after acting a part for three years. Wouldn't your reality get confused? How would you recognize the "real you" after living like that for so long? I get it - I get why Kyle is angry and moody. I understand why he pushed Jane away again and again. But I also understand why he began to pull her close after a time as well. 

Finding Kyle was really sad at times. It's impossible not to feel a huge amount of compassion for this man who is a hero, but is now really lost. And it's impossible to not be cheering for he and Jane from the very beginning. She's so perfect for him because she's so different from everything he has known. That, and, she may be a small-town school teacher, but Jane loves being the one getting schooled by Kyle in the bedroom.

Finding Kyle was a great conclusion to both the Wicked Horse and the Last Call series. It brought several characters' stories to a completely satisfying conclusion, and although I'm sorry to say goodbye to all these characters - and especially Kyle and Jane - the ending was just so perfect, I can't complain even a little bit.